💻 I’m still living in Zoom meeting purgatory after almost two years. I’ve written before about how it’s more fatiguing by far than meeting in person. Rands, a well-known tech blogger, explains how virtual meetings fail to touch all of our senses — and how that makes virtual collaboration less effective. Read What We Lost
💻 Lawrence Yeo has an interesting perspective for writers stuck on what to write about: think about things you care about, and write the advice you would give someone about that subject. Read Write to Give Yourself Advice
📷 In a story that’s like a romance that went bad but turned out all right in the end, Lucy Lumen tells the story of her Nikon L35AF point-and-shoot 35mm camera. Read A love letter to the Nikon L35AF
📷 Mike Connealy put a roll of film through his Kodak Brownie Flash Six-20, a compact, all-metal box camera. Read Heavy Metal Brownie
My therapist said that after a major death, the shock phase lasts six to eight weeks. That’s about five to seven weeks longer than I thought! The shock I felt in the first week was apparently just the deepest part of the shock, which only began to wear off starting in week two.
It’s been seven weeks since Rana died. Most days now I feel terrible, like I’m in pain, except I can’t pinpoint where the pain is. It’s not in my shoulder, not in my foot, not in my hip — but my body feels pinched, as if it hurts somewhere. Or everywhere.
Logging on at work is a blessing, usually. For nine hours I can focus my mind on the work I need to do, and push aside my pain for a while. Except that some days, I can’t manage it very well. Monday was one such day, and so was Thursday.
I’m being transparent at work that I’m having good days and bad days through this grief, and that on the bad days, I’m not very useful. I feel like I’m taking an enormous risk in saying so, but I feel like it’s better to be honest than to have my boss find out I got nothing done on Thursday without knowing that I have been struggling. I am doing the very best I can every day at work. It’s just that some days, my very best isn’t very good. I feel some comfort that key people in my company have given me feedback that they believe in me and want me there for the long haul.
I feel angry with Rana for putting me into this state. Then I feel selfish for feeling that way. I know that these conflicting feelings are normal and I just have to sit with them and let them pass.
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