A grave loss

76 comments on A grave loss
1 minute

My family is devastated today. Our daughter Rana has died, by her own hand. Rana was 36.

Me, Garrett, Damion, and Rana in October, 2021

I’ve known Rana since she was 7, when I married her mom. Even though that marriage didn’t make it, I’ve kept a relationship with Rana. For those of you who knew us then, you remember Rana as Ross. She transitioned a few years ago.

This loss hasn’t fully sunk in yet and already it hurts like hell.

I already have most of January’s posts written and queued on this blog, and so things will go on here as if nothing is wrong. That will be the furthest thing from the truth.


76 responses to “A grave loss”

  1. Anne C Peden Avatar
    Anne C Peden

    May God give you peace. So devastating.

  2. Tom Harrell Avatar
    Tom Harrell

    I’m sorry for your loss!

  3. Michael McNeill Avatar

    That’s a horrible start to the year. Our thoughts are with you.

    1. Carrie Savage-Zimmerman Avatar
      Carrie Savage-Zimmerman

      May Rana’s spirit continue to shine through you and your family in the coming days, weeks, months, years. Sharing her story will keep her alive in your heart and memories. May Prayers of healing and acceptance be of some small comfort in these times of darkness and uncertainty.

  4. Shirley B. Avatar
    Shirley B.

    My condolences for your loss. How I wish things were different for all of you. May you find or beginnen the strength you need, to carry you through the days and weeks to come.

    1. Shirley B. Avatar
      Shirley B.

      Sorry, I meant to write ” be given” instead of “beginnen”.

  5. David Avatar

    I’m terribly sorry for you and your families loss

  6. MikeUlman Avatar

    No words.

  7. LaRue Bennett Avatar
    LaRue Bennett

    I’m so sorry, Jim. We pray that the Lord will give you comfort and peace and be very present with you and your family. I was getting ready to comment on some of your articles (positive!), but will wait a few days. LaRue Bennett (Just joined your group and shared an interest in Traders Point)

  8. Andrew Avatar

    My condolences Jim. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart reaches out to you.

  9. David Winskill Avatar
    David Winskill

    Sending a little prayer for you, for Rana and your family.

  10. Anthony Hicks Avatar
    Anthony Hicks

    I lost my best friend the same way last year, I feel your pain.

    All my love…

    1. Alane Avatar

      Jim, I’m thinking of you and your family. Such a loss lasts a lifetime. I’m so sorry.

  11. Andrew Dreves Avatar
    Andrew Dreves

    So sorry to hear this Jim. Prayers for you and your family. 🙏

  12. Rhianne Avatar

    Oh no Jim, Im so, so sorry for you and all your family, how awful. Sending massive hugs and all my love

  13. Lone Primate Avatar

    Oh, Jim, I’m so sorry. Nothing I can say will have much power, other than to say, it matters. I really am so sorry.

  14. Roy Karlsvik Avatar
    Roy Karlsvik

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Jim. My condolences to you and your family.

  15. brineb58 Avatar

    Oh, so sorry for your loss … prayers for you and your family.

  16. dennyho Avatar

    Your loss is devastating, I can only imagine. May happier times w Rana and your family hold you close as you maneuver through this difficult time.

  17. Tamara Avatar

    My heart hurts for Rana and all she has touched. May her memory be a blessing.

  18. fishyfisharcade Avatar

    I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss Jim. I really don’t know what to say other that my heartfelt condolences and thoughts are with you and your loved ones. Take care of yourselves.

  19. lgloster Avatar

    My deepest sympathies, Jim; our children should bury us.

  20. Ken Bandy Avatar
    Ken Bandy

    So sorry for your loss, Jim.

  21. Marc Beebe Avatar

    There is nothing that can be said beyond “I’m sorry”, and even less than can ease the pain save time.

  22. Marie Rucker Avatar
    Marie Rucker

    May God wrap his loving arms around you and your family and give you comfort and peace during this most difficult time in your lives.

  23. Syndi Chesser Avatar
    Syndi Chesser

    Oh gosh. My heart breaks for you and Rana’s friends and extended family, Jim. I’m so very sorry for your loss…

  24. Clare Hennessey Avatar
    Clare Hennessey

    My condolences to you and your family.

  25. Christopher May Avatar
    Christopher May

    I am so incredibly sorry, Jim. You and your family are all in my thoughts and prayers.

  26. Keith Walker Avatar
    Keith Walker

    My deepest condolences and sympathy in your loss. Words cannot express my feelings.. I am so sorry. \
    From a very warm New Zealand

  27. Marcia Toth Avatar
    Marcia Toth

    Sorry for your unexpected loss.

  28. J P Avatar

    Jim, I have no words beyond that I am terribly sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  29. Pete Avatar

    So very sorry to hear this Jim. I can think of nothing worse to suffer. Thoughts with you.

  30. Peter Paar Avatar
    Peter Paar

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this tragic time.

  31. Andy Umbo Avatar
    Andy Umbo

    Jim, so sorry, this is devastating news…

  32. Dan Avatar

    This is sad news. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

  33. Jim Lucas Avatar
    Jim Lucas

    So soory for your loss.

  34. Dan Cluley Avatar
    Dan Cluley

    I am so sorry

  35. hlpaul Avatar

    Dear Jim and family, so sorry for your loss and the pain it must be causing.

  36. andytree101 Avatar

    Jim, nothing i can say will help, i can’t really begin to imagine how you feel. Sometimes words are so inadequate. I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. Andy

  37. Tom Avatar

    I am so, so sorry to hear this. What a heartbreaking way to start the new year. I hope you will surround yourself with the support you need at this time. Remember that the Suicide Prevention Lifeline also works with family members who have lost a loved one to suicide: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/loss-survivors/ .

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Thank you for that link.

  38. P. Daffron Avatar
    P. Daffron

    My heart aches for you & family in the loss of this child.

  39. Steve Mitchell Avatar

    I can’t pretend to know how you feel, or what to say. Blessings from New Zealand.

  40. David Chan Avatar
    David Chan

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Such terrible news. There are no words. Thinking of you and yours at this time.

  41. wordpicturesbydlink Avatar

    I am very sorry. I’ll keep you and your family in prayer Jim.

  42. -N- Avatar

    Jim, I am so sorry for you, her, family. No words can express feelings at this time. Take care.

  43. Mark Avatar

    Truly sorry for your loss. Condolences and prayers from Carmel.

  44. Victor Villaseñor Avatar
    Victor Villaseñor

    A big hug Jim. Heart skipped a beat or two reading this, can’t even imagine what it feels right in the family.

  45. Darts and Letters Avatar
    Darts and Letters

    I’m so sorry to hear about this Jim.

  46. Katie Yang Avatar

    I’m so, so sorry.

  47. nostaligicitalian Avatar

    I am truly sorry to read this. My prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time.

  48. Mike Curtis Avatar
    Mike Curtis

    I’m so sorry for your loss. As a parent who lost an adult child, my heart hurts for you.

  49. Steve Bryan Avatar
    Steve Bryan

    Sorry for your loss. A devastating way to begin the new year.

  50. DougD Avatar

    Oh Jim, I’m so sorry that your family must bear yet another tragedy. Hold on to each other.

  51. brandib1977 Avatar

    Oh, Jim. There are no words. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  52. Kenneth Wajda Avatar

    Sad for you, Jim. So sad to read this. Reach out if you need anything.

  53. puneybones Avatar

    I am so sad to hear of your loss.

  54. Paul Hoppe Avatar

    I am so very sorry about your loss. I wish you all the strength right now and some calm time to mourn.

  55. finefilmdays Avatar

    My deepest condolences for your loss…

  56. musing75 Avatar

    Condolences …

  57. Andy Karlson Avatar
    Andy Karlson

    I’m so deeply sad to hear this, Jim. Healing mercies to you and your family as you journey through this heartbreak, and may Rana’s memory be a blessing.

  58. Lee Avatar

    Am sorry her pain became too great.
    I am sorry for your loss & pain. Remember you could not have stopped this. Forgive yourself for any thinking like that.
    Your whole family is in my prayers

  59. Ward Fogelsanger Avatar

    Very sorry for your loss..

  60. Khürt Williams Avatar

    Hi Jim. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  61. Lynn Avatar

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Michael passed the same way two years ago. That kind of pain is horrible.

  62. sloppy buddhist Avatar

    Mourning and grieving is hard work…Rana’s spirit will be close…hugs as I re-read your post…I had no words…sending light and hugs ~ hedy

  63. David Avatar

    I’m so sorry Jim. Your loss is unfathomable. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. My daughter is transitioning and struggling terribly. I worry so much for her and all the other young adults in mental pain.

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Transitioning is so, so hard. May your daughter have nothing but support and love as she figures herself out.

  64. Jane Safford Herr Avatar
    Jane Safford Herr

    So sorry that poor Rana felt she could not face another year. Although our society has come a long way in accepting those who transition there is still a need for more support for these folks. I’m sure she appreciated your support and love during her short life. My prayers are going out to you.

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      At least all of us in her family supported her. I wish it had been enough,.

  65. Rick Bell Avatar
    Rick Bell

    I’m so sorry for your loss. At a time like this we can find comfort from the scriptures about the coming resurrection to a paradise earth. John 5:28,29 gives us the hope that we will see her again soon. Revelation 21:4 tells us that death will be done away with forever. Please accept my deepest sympathies.
    Rick Bell

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Thank you Rick.

  66. Jon Molina Avatar

    Hi Jim,
    I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I really hope Rana trusted Jesus on her last moments.

    I’m a Christian and I’ve been following your blog and your Flickr posts.


  67. David Meisner Avatar
    David Meisner

    May your daughter rest in peace. My deepest condolences to you & family.

  68. Gus R. Avatar
    Gus R.

    I just subscribed to your blog, and found a reference to the loss of your daughter in recent entries, so I went looking for this post to learn what happened. I offer my deepest condolences as a father myself, and hope you will continue to heal and find peace wherever you can. God bless.

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Thank you so much, Gus.

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