Down the Road

Photographs and stories by Jim Grey

A grave loss

Jim Grey
76 comments on A grave loss
,

My family is devastated today. Our daughter Rana has died, by her own hand. Rana was 36.

Me, Garrett, Damion, and Rana in October, 2021

I’ve known Rana since she was 7, when I married her mom. Even though that marriage didn’t make it, I’ve kept a relationship with Rana. For those of you who knew us then, you remember Rana as Ross. She transitioned a few years ago.

This loss hasn’t fully sunk in yet and already it hurts like hell.

I already have most of January’s posts written and queued on this blog, and so things will go on here as if nothing is wrong. That will be the furthest thing from the truth.

Comments

76 responses to “A grave loss”

  1. Anne C Peden Avatar
    Anne C Peden

    May God give you peace. So devastating.

    Reply
  2. Tom Harrell Avatar
    Tom Harrell

    I’m sorry for your loss!

    Reply
  3. Michael McNeill Avatar
    Michael McNeill

    That’s a horrible start to the year. Our thoughts are with you.

    Reply
    1. Carrie Savage-Zimmerman Avatar
      Carrie Savage-Zimmerman

      May Rana’s spirit continue to shine through you and your family in the coming days, weeks, months, years. Sharing her story will keep her alive in your heart and memories. May Prayers of healing and acceptance be of some small comfort in these times of darkness and uncertainty.

      Reply
  4. Shirley B. Avatar
    Shirley B.

    My condolences for your loss. How I wish things were different for all of you. May you find or beginnen the strength you need, to carry you through the days and weeks to come.

    Reply
    1. Shirley B. Avatar
      Shirley B.

      Sorry, I meant to write ” be given” instead of “beginnen”.

      Reply
  5. David Avatar
    David

    I’m terribly sorry for you and your families loss

    Reply
  6. MikeUlman Avatar
    MikeUlman

    No words.

    Reply
  7. LaRue Bennett Avatar
    LaRue Bennett

    I’m so sorry, Jim. We pray that the Lord will give you comfort and peace and be very present with you and your family. I was getting ready to comment on some of your articles (positive!), but will wait a few days. LaRue Bennett (Just joined your group and shared an interest in Traders Point)

    Reply
  8. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    My condolences Jim. I am so sorry for your loss. My heart reaches out to you.

    Reply
  9. David Winskill Avatar
    David Winskill

    Sending a little prayer for you, for Rana and your family.

    Reply
  10. Anthony Hicks Avatar
    Anthony Hicks

    I lost my best friend the same way last year, I feel your pain.

    All my love…

    Reply
    1. Alane Avatar
      Alane

      Jim, I’m thinking of you and your family. Such a loss lasts a lifetime. I’m so sorry.

      Reply
  11. Andrew Dreves Avatar
    Andrew Dreves

    So sorry to hear this Jim. Prayers for you and your family. 🙏

    Reply
  12. Rhianne Avatar
    Rhianne

    Oh no Jim, Im so, so sorry for you and all your family, how awful. Sending massive hugs and all my love

    Reply
  13. Lone Primate Avatar
    Lone Primate

    Oh, Jim, I’m so sorry. Nothing I can say will have much power, other than to say, it matters. I really am so sorry.

    Reply
  14. Roy Karlsvik Avatar
    Roy Karlsvik

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss, Jim. My condolences to you and your family.

    Reply
  15. brineb58 Avatar
    brineb58

    Oh, so sorry for your loss … prayers for you and your family.

    Reply
  16. dennyho Avatar
    dennyho

    Your loss is devastating, I can only imagine. May happier times w Rana and your family hold you close as you maneuver through this difficult time.

    Reply
  17. Tamara Avatar
    Tamara

    My heart hurts for Rana and all she has touched. May her memory be a blessing.

    Reply
  18. fishyfisharcade Avatar
    fishyfisharcade

    I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss Jim. I really don’t know what to say other that my heartfelt condolences and thoughts are with you and your loved ones. Take care of yourselves.

    Reply
  19. lgloster Avatar
    lgloster

    My deepest sympathies, Jim; our children should bury us.

    Reply
  20. Ken Bandy Avatar
    Ken Bandy

    So sorry for your loss, Jim.

    Reply
  21. Marc Beebe Avatar
    Marc Beebe

    There is nothing that can be said beyond “I’m sorry”, and even less than can ease the pain save time.

    Reply
  22. Marie Rucker Avatar
    Marie Rucker

    May God wrap his loving arms around you and your family and give you comfort and peace during this most difficult time in your lives.

    Reply
  23. Syndi Chesser Avatar
    Syndi Chesser

    Oh gosh. My heart breaks for you and Rana’s friends and extended family, Jim. I’m so very sorry for your loss…

    Reply
  24. Clare Hennessey Avatar
    Clare Hennessey

    My condolences to you and your family.

    Reply
  25. Christopher May Avatar
    Christopher May

    I am so incredibly sorry, Jim. You and your family are all in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  26. Keith Walker Avatar
    Keith Walker

    My deepest condolences and sympathy in your loss. Words cannot express my feelings.. I am so sorry. \
    From a very warm New Zealand

    Reply
  27. Marcia Toth Avatar
    Marcia Toth

    Sorry for your unexpected loss.

    Reply
  28. J P Avatar
    J P

    Jim, I have no words beyond that I am terribly sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.

    Reply
  29. Pete Avatar
    Pete

    So very sorry to hear this Jim. I can think of nothing worse to suffer. Thoughts with you.

    Reply
  30. Peter Paar Avatar
    Peter Paar

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this tragic time.

    Reply
  31. Andy Umbo Avatar
    Andy Umbo

    Jim, so sorry, this is devastating news…

    Reply
  32. Dan Avatar
    Dan

    This is sad news. My deepest condolences to you and your family. I will keep you all in my prayers.

    Reply
  33. Jim Lucas Avatar
    Jim Lucas

    So soory for your loss.

    Reply
  34. Dan Cluley Avatar
    Dan Cluley

    I am so sorry

    Reply
  35. hlpaul Avatar
    hlpaul

    Dear Jim and family, so sorry for your loss and the pain it must be causing.

    Reply
  36. andytree101 Avatar
    andytree101

    Jim, nothing i can say will help, i can’t really begin to imagine how you feel. Sometimes words are so inadequate. I am so very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family. Andy

    Reply
  37. Tom Avatar
    Tom

    I am so, so sorry to hear this. What a heartbreaking way to start the new year. I hope you will surround yourself with the support you need at this time. Remember that the Suicide Prevention Lifeline also works with family members who have lost a loved one to suicide: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/loss-survivors/ .

    Reply
    1. Jim Grey Avatar
      Jim Grey

      Thank you for that link.

      Reply
  38. P. Daffron Avatar
    P. Daffron

    My heart aches for you & family in the loss of this child.

    Reply
  39. Steve Mitchell Avatar
    Steve Mitchell

    I can’t pretend to know how you feel, or what to say. Blessings from New Zealand.

    Reply
  40. David Chan Avatar
    David Chan

    I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Such terrible news. There are no words. Thinking of you and yours at this time.

    Reply
  41. wordpicturesbydlink Avatar
    wordpicturesbydlink

    I am very sorry. I’ll keep you and your family in prayer Jim.

    Reply
  42. -N- Avatar
    -N-

    Jim, I am so sorry for you, her, family. No words can express feelings at this time. Take care.

    Reply
  43. Mark Avatar
    Mark

    Truly sorry for your loss. Condolences and prayers from Carmel.

    Reply
  44. Victor Villaseñor Avatar
    Victor Villaseñor

    A big hug Jim. Heart skipped a beat or two reading this, can’t even imagine what it feels right in the family.

    Reply
  45. Darts and Letters Avatar
    Darts and Letters

    I’m so sorry to hear about this Jim.

    Reply
  46. Katie Yang Avatar
    Katie Yang

    I’m so, so sorry.

    Reply
  47. nostaligicitalian Avatar
    nostaligicitalian

    I am truly sorry to read this. My prayers are with you and your family during this very difficult time.

    Reply
  48. Mike Curtis Avatar
    Mike Curtis

    I’m so sorry for your loss. As a parent who lost an adult child, my heart hurts for you.

    Reply
  49. Steve Bryan Avatar
    Steve Bryan

    Sorry for your loss. A devastating way to begin the new year.

    Reply
  50. DougD Avatar
    DougD

    Oh Jim, I’m so sorry that your family must bear yet another tragedy. Hold on to each other.

    Reply
  51. brandib1977 Avatar
    brandib1977

    Oh, Jim. There are no words. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  52. Kenneth Wajda Avatar
    Kenneth Wajda

    Sad for you, Jim. So sad to read this. Reach out if you need anything.

    Reply
  53. puneybones Avatar
    puneybones

    I am so sad to hear of your loss.

    Reply
  54. Paul Hoppe Avatar
    Paul Hoppe

    I am so very sorry about your loss. I wish you all the strength right now and some calm time to mourn.

    Reply
  55. finefilmdays Avatar
    finefilmdays

    My deepest condolences for your loss…

    Reply
  56. musing75 Avatar
    musing75

    Condolences …

    Reply
  57. Andy Karlson Avatar
    Andy Karlson

    I’m so deeply sad to hear this, Jim. Healing mercies to you and your family as you journey through this heartbreak, and may Rana’s memory be a blessing.

    Reply
  58. Lee Avatar
    Lee

    Am sorry her pain became too great.
    I am sorry for your loss & pain. Remember you could not have stopped this. Forgive yourself for any thinking like that.
    Your whole family is in my prayers

    Reply
  59. Ward Fogelsanger Avatar
    Ward Fogelsanger

    Very sorry for your loss..

    Reply
  60. Khürt Williams Avatar
    Khürt Williams

    Hi Jim. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  61. Lynn Avatar
    Lynn

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Michael passed the same way two years ago. That kind of pain is horrible.

    Reply
  62. sloppy buddhist Avatar
    sloppy buddhist

    Mourning and grieving is hard work…Rana’s spirit will be close…hugs as I re-read your post…I had no words…sending light and hugs ~ hedy

    Reply
  63. David Avatar
    David

    I’m so sorry Jim. Your loss is unfathomable. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. My daughter is transitioning and struggling terribly. I worry so much for her and all the other young adults in mental pain.

    Reply
    1. Jim Grey Avatar
      Jim Grey

      Transitioning is so, so hard. May your daughter have nothing but support and love as she figures herself out.

      Reply
  64. Jane Safford Herr Avatar
    Jane Safford Herr

    So sorry that poor Rana felt she could not face another year. Although our society has come a long way in accepting those who transition there is still a need for more support for these folks. I’m sure she appreciated your support and love during her short life. My prayers are going out to you.

    Reply
    1. Jim Grey Avatar
      Jim Grey

      At least all of us in her family supported her. I wish it had been enough,.

      Reply
  65. Rick Bell Avatar
    Rick Bell

    I’m so sorry for your loss. At a time like this we can find comfort from the scriptures about the coming resurrection to a paradise earth. John 5:28,29 gives us the hope that we will see her again soon. Revelation 21:4 tells us that death will be done away with forever. Please accept my deepest sympathies.
    Rick Bell

    Reply
    1. Jim Grey Avatar
      Jim Grey

      Thank you Rick.

      Reply
  66. Jon Molina Avatar
    Jon Molina

    Hi Jim,
    I’m deeply sorry for your loss. I really hope Rana trusted Jesus on her last moments.

    I’m a Christian and I’ve been following your blog and your Flickr posts.

    Jon

    Reply
  67. David Meisner Avatar
    David Meisner

    May your daughter rest in peace. My deepest condolences to you & family.

    Reply
  68. Gus R. Avatar
    Gus R.

    I just subscribed to your blog, and found a reference to the loss of your daughter in recent entries, so I went looking for this post to learn what happened. I offer my deepest condolences as a father myself, and hope you will continue to heal and find peace wherever you can. God bless.

    Reply
    1. Jim Grey Avatar
      Jim Grey

      Thank you so much, Gus.

      Reply

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Sign up for my newsletter!

Sign up for my monthly newsletter,
Back Roads, and be the first to know
what I'm working on!

Subscribe

Never see this message again

%d bloggers like this: