Easy care

A crisp, white Oxford shirt is one of the great pleasures of being a man. No other fabric is so sturdy yet so comfortable. No other shirt is worn so successfully untucked with jeans or beneath a jacket and tie. No man’s closet is complete without a white Oxford.

I was long overdue for a new one. I turned to the J. C. Penney Company to supply it. It arrived via post with this cheerful tag inside the collar, promising many years of carefree wear.

Easy Care on

Except that within seconds of donning my new, freshly laundered shirt, that tag chewed and dug into the back of my neck. Was that tag made of titanium alloy? Impregnated with shards of glass? Edged in tiny barbed wire? I ripped that shirt right off. This would not stand!

For I am a man who knows how to use tools.

Thread puller

Forbearance. Persistence. Patience. These are marks of a mature man. Removing this tag revealed the limits of their development in me. That tag was fused so tightly to the shirt, God Himself might have sewn it on with His mighty hand. If God was involved, I certainly did not want Him to hear the four-letter words forming at my lips. I dug deep and kept my cool.

Easy Care off

In time, I prevailed. The offending tag cast aside, I slipped my arms into the sleeves and shrugged the top of the shirt onto my shoulders. Ahh! Free from chafing!

Memo to the J. C. Penney Company: Skip the tag next time, eh?


Comments

6 responses to “Easy care”

  1. Dani Avatar
    Dani

    Too funny! Jim – 1, Annoying Tag – 0

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Thanks! I think the line about glass shards and barbed wire was pretty inspired, if I do say so myself.

  2. Bob Dungan Avatar
    Bob Dungan

    We all share your sentiments.

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Glad to know I’m not alone.

  3. davidvanilla Avatar

    Forbearance. Persistence. Patience. Yet why does the Princess and the Pea come to mind?

    NoBo has gone tagless at least in their T-shirts. Seems Penney could do the same for their oxfords?

    1. Jim Grey Avatar

      Hey, let a shirt stick a hundred tiny knives into *your* neck and see how you feel!!

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