Recommended reading

Comments

5 responses to “Recommended reading”

1. 

   George Denzinger

   27 June 2015

   I thought Mr. Appling’s comment amusing. Coming from the flipside, my wife and two daughters are rather, uh, manly. Although I’ve never heard anyone doubt their “girliness”, maybe it’s not such a big deal. My wife was largely raised by her father, can do quite a few mechanical things around the house and likes sports. We raised my kids to be kids, not “girls” specifically, but they did do a lot of “girly” kinds of things growing up. OTOH, we’re all motorheads in our house and my daughters have plenty of male friends.

   I don’t know. People are people and if we feel we have to conform rigidly to some idea of what society says we should be, then we know we are in trouble. Vive la difference!

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   1. 

      Jim Grey

      27 June 2015

      I think it’s just part of living in society to compare ourselves to others, and to decide a couple things: (1) whether we are like others or not, and (2) what it means to be a ______ (white middle-aged male, for example).

      The sad underside of this is treating people badly when they don’t conform to what is perceived to be normal. I’ve never been a Manly Man ™ but that doesn’t mean I’m not masculine. Unfortunately, sometimes I get some bad treatment for being more on the sensitive side.

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2. 

   hmunro

   27 June 2015

   Thank you for sharing both of these great reads — but especially Matt Appling’s piece on masculinity. It’s sad that marketers and the media are now bombarding men with the same unrealistic body images and the patronizing, uni-dimensional messages they’ve been feeding women for decades. But Appling’s post gives me hope that there are a few fathers out there who will help their sons look past the cover of Men’s Health and realize that the real definition of masculinity is a man who is true to himself. As Ralph Waldo Emerson so wisely said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

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   1. 

      Jim Grey

      27 June 2015

      Have you seen the stuff online recently about “dad bod”? Makes me crazy. It seems to be saying that because dads don’t have time to work out, they end up soft. I guess I’m ok with the aspect of this discussion that says “and that’s ok,” but it bothers me that in comparison it says that a well-toned gym body is somehow what we should all aspire to. Sorry, I don’t have time for the work it would take to look like that. I feel good that through walking, working in the yard, and being mindful of what I eat, I manage to stay below the “overweight” threshold.

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      1. 

         hmunro

         1 July 2015

         Isn’t the “dad bod” craze about the most vapid thing you’ve ever heard? The presumption that we should all strive for gym-rat, ripped perfection ignores the fact that gym-rap, ripped perfection doesn’t necessarily mean greater health – and it certainly doesn’t mean more happiness. I’ll take a happy, healthy man over a reps-and-sets obsessed calorie-counter any day, thank you.

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