Personal

The years fly by at warp speed

My youngest son turns 15 today. In case you’re new to the blog, I’m a divorced dad with three sons. My stepson is 28, and my sons still at home are 17 and, now, 15.

It turns out that I really enjoy teenagers. For me, these are the best years to be a dad! It’s a relief, because – can I just admit this? – I didn’t enjoy the little-kid years. I’m glad I was there for the early days, but I wouldn’t want to repeat them.

I’ve always been eager for my sons to grow up and embark on all of life’s adventures. My younger boys are mature enough now to have real adventures. My 17-year-old took several advanced biomedical classes this year and has been overloaded with homework, and has learned some hard lessons about prioritization and time management. My 15-year-old just made a tough choice not to continue in a vocational program in which he was learning television production. He really loved working in the studio. But the outside-of-class work was a little beyond his reach, and he was tired of constantly struggling with it.

These choices really shape their futures and say a lot about the people they are becoming. In choices like these I see parts of my personality and character in them, and parts of their mom’s. I even sometimes see things in them that I recognize as traits from my mom’s family, or my dad’s. I’m excited to see them launched out into the world, to enjoy what it offers and, I hope, to give it the good things they have.

If I learned anything from the years my stepson was in high school, it’s that these these years fly by at warp speed. Unfortunately, because of the divorce, I only see them a couple evenings a week and every other weekend during the school year, although they live with me half the summer. So I don’t even get all of the days that will come. The best I can do is be as present as I can be for every moment I get.

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12 thoughts on “The years fly by at warp speed

  1. hmunro says:

    How sad that you only get to spend a couple of evenings each week with your sons, and only half the summer. But something tells me that your influence as a caring, thoughtful, hard-working man reaches well beyond those hours and informs every aspect of their lives. Here’s wishing your 15-year-old a very happy birthday!

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    • Thanks Heather. Anybody who tells me that kids are resilient and do just fine after a divorce, I want to paste them. The best situation is two parents together in a well-functioning family, and that’s all there is to it.

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  2. Agreed! I think teenage years are so beautiful and intense! I can have conversations with them that are interesting and also funny (my boys make me laugh a lot!) I sometimes feel myself sort of like stepping out of me while talking to them and I think its awesome, these boys that I am bringing up and shaping into good men. Happy B-day to your son! you seem to be a great dad to them. It is hard being a single parent, but we do the best we can with love and understanding. Best to you and your kids.

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    • Nobody makes me laugh more in this world than my 15-year-old. And I’m a dad to them; hard to tell whether it’s great or not. I’m in there trying anyway.

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      • Well, but you know you are a good dad. We parents know when we are doing something good, as far as doing all the best we can to raise good human beings. You seem to be, based on how you relate your life’s experiences and the way you talk about your sons. Thing is, to enjoy these years, and all that comes after. Good luck in all :)

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  3. You are going to make me cry Jim I have a14 year old that is getting ready to enter High School next year and the time has gone by so fast. But I am so thankful to be blessed with such a wonderful kid, and I know you feel the same with yours it is wonderful to be a dad…sometimes lol !!

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