This cup is already broken

I first published this in 2010 but have been thinking of it recently as I’ve been upgrading some furnishings in my home.

This was my favorite mug.

A long time ago I worked in a museum’s gift shop. We sold works of local artists and for several weeks featured a talented potter. I was taken with this fellow’s work for its bold color, especially four coffee mugs in this motif. I wanted them all, but could afford only one, and chose this one.

This mug was as much a pleasure to use as it was to behold. Its slender angled lip felt good on my lips. The thumbprint-sized indentation pressed into the top of the handle made it very comfortable to hold.

I’ve had very few possessions that satisfied me as much as this mug. I drank my coffee from it for 21 years, first at college, then in my first apartment, then at home after I was married, and finally at work. But sadly it was damaged when I moved it to my last job. Something must have struck the box it was in. When I filled it with coffee, a puddle quickly formed wherever I set it.

Buddhists have a saying: “This cup is already broken.” It’s meant to teach us that nothing lasts forever, so enjoy it while you have it. (The book of Ecclesiastes agrees, by the way, if you aren’t too keen on Buddhist teachings.) Enjoying what I have has been a recurring theme on this blog. For example, I’ve written before about how I was so focused on taking care of my first brand new car that it robbed me of some of the pleasure of driving it. I have struggled with this lesson all my life.

I grew up in a working-class family. We weren’t poor, but we earned every thing we owned, and little was handed to me. I saved to buy things I wanted, such as my bicycle and my first old cameras. Every purchase was dear because my money didn’t stretch very far. I was always very upset when something broke or wore out, because I would have to save for a long time to replace it. This shaped my attitude toward my possessions. I have tended to buy used or inexpensive things, because when they broke or wore out I could soothe myself by saying that I hadn’t lost much. When I have received especially nice or new things, I have tended not to want to use them.

After my grandfather died, I got his pocket knife. It was a gentleman’s knife, two small blades in a slender silver body. I left it in a dresser drawer for years, afraid to carry it lest I lose it. But I couldn’t very well enjoy my grandfather’s memory that way, and so one morning I finally slipped it into my pocket. When I got home that night, I found that it had fallen out somewhere along the way, and I never saw it again.

Stinging from the loss, I became even more parsimonious in using my possessions. At about this time I realized I drank more coffee at work than at home – and I resisted taking my mug to work for several years out of worry that it would more readily be lost, damaged, or stolen there.

And then I found it necessary to sell almost everything I owned. I kept clothes, photographs, and some furniture, but most everything else went. It was not easy. But after it was all gone and I carried on with my life, I was surprised by how little of it I missed. Today, I occasionally wish for a couple old cameras I especially enjoyed and a few of my old record albums that have never been released on CD. That’s it. I can’t even remember some of the things I owned. It was, I am stunned to have learned, just stuff.

That my mug escaped being sold was merely an oversight, but one I was glad to have made. As soon as I came across it, I took it right to work where I could enjoy it best. And sure enough, that’s where my mug met its demise. But I got to use it for seven years at work before that happened – and in that time, I figure I drank at least 3,600 cups of coffee from it. I enjoyed it to the hilt!

And so I’ve been thinking about how to extend this idea. How will I behave differently if I think as though my kids are already grown and gone? As though I’ve already moved on from my current job? As though I’ve already remarried and left my single life behind?

What else can you think of?


10 responses to “This cup is already broken”

  1. davidvanilla Avatar

    In response to your questions I would say that you’ve no way of knowing how you will behave differently, for life is an on-going adventure. I once had a favorite coffee mug. One day I dropped it, breaking the handle off but otherwise leaving it intact. I used a fiberglass repair kit to reattach the handle and mold it permanently to the body of the mug. I used it a long time.

    Much time passes and much water spills over the dam. I took a new wife. She abhorred the mug. I persisted in its use. One day the mug could not be found anywhere.

    1. Jim Avatar

      So in your case, it’s “this mug has already surreptitiously been thrown away.”

  2. Todd Avatar

    “Buddhists have a saying: ‘This cup is already broken.’” I’m glad I read today’s post, Jim. This is something worth remembering.

    1. Jim Avatar

      Thanks Todd!

  3. Robyn Weber Avatar

    As if your parents have passed away, and you can no longer visit with them, or ask them any questions. I wish I had lived like this prior to my parents’ deaths. I so enjoy reading your blogs. You have a gift and I am grateful you share it freely.

    1. Jim Avatar

      Thanks, Robyn. I think we should live like that with everyone we love.

  4. kiwiskan Avatar

    True thoughts about ‘things’. Our little house was gutted by fire some years ago, and apart from the odd family treasure there was very little lost that was of importance. And it says in the Bible ‘There is great gain in godliness with contentment…,

    1. Jim Avatar

      That had to be a very difficult time while you were going through it. But it sounds like you’ve not only come through it, but risen well above it.

      1. kiwiskan Avatar

        with a lot of help from great friends and neighbours

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